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That aint important...

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Love and Sex [Jun. 12th, 2006|05:10 am]
That aint important...
[Current Location |home]
[Current Mood |annoyedannoyed]
[Current Music |the tv]

Can't sleep again. I hear the birds chirping outside of my house. The sky goes from pitch black with glitters here and there to one of a bluish white complex. Another day begins....and I'm sooner or later gonna take my active ass to bed. Hmm... Seems as though I had a little too much caffeine.

I still lead the life of a "loner" or "lone wolf" with little difficulty now. I have come to accept it. It give me time to hone in on me. I know I am different from those who are around me. I know my life will not be normal somehow, I believe the Lord has a special plan in mind for my life. Otherwise I would not be going thru this. However, something has been disturbing me for sometime.... Two main things: Sex and Love.

Sex is defined as "intercourse involving genital contact between individuals other than penetration of the vagina by the penis". During this time, much effort is put forth for one to acheive what is known as an orgasm, a brief period of what I call "pleasuring emptiness". Some individuals put much emotion into this moment of interaction between people. People like me use it to ultimately express ourselves to selected individuals of how we feel about this. Others selfishly just try to get off.

The act of sex has been abused for quite sometime. Today people use it casually as though it was just some everyday thing. This has led to much heartache to people. I, myself, am one who has ceaselessly been hurt by the actions of others. I have brief vision quite frequently of the women I have loved having loud, rough, and furious sex with their newlyfound(and sometimes renewed) boyfriends/friends/partners. It torments me day by day because of this act. It's as though they didn't care what I would feel afterwards. Tortured, tormented, disgusted, and deprided, I move on. They literally hurt me...cut deeply....badly. Then again, after it was done to me, I repeated the cycle. No I didn't cheat on anyone. But to go with your ex-girlfriend's best friend isn't anything better. And then my ex tries to say I am wrong....although I know I was. What makes her mistake any better. I will not play this blaming game. I am a little over that level of maturity.

It is taught in Christianity that one should wait till they have married before having sex. Many of us nowadays have neglected this teaching. All have paid for their choice, be it good or bad. And thought people do not pay attention, there is a reason for this. Imagine all the pain and frustration you wouldn't encounter.

Love is a pure emotion. It is defined by one's actions rather than words from the dictionary. Untainted...pure... Even though the purest of things are also the deadliest. It makes you do the craziest things. Yet, it drives you to do what is needed even in the most harsh times. I really can't define love....

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
1st Corinthians 13:4-8

I read it and wonder...have I ever loved? Am I too distant from humankind that my emotions don't exist? The only love I've experieced is God's love. How do I know this? Well, for one, it drives me to go on...even in the most distressing times. He loved me so much that He sacrificed His Son, Jesus, for idiotic mistakes. Then again...there's my parents' love. But anyway, nothing is certain in this world. That's why I said I wonder if I have truly experienced this "love" with another. My time will come. The thing is what will I do with it when it gets there.

The sky is brightening. The sun is starting to show. It's time to return to the shadow....until I am rested. Till next time......
LinkReply

Comments:
From: (Anonymous)
2006-07-04 09:00 am (UTC)

speechless



Corey, only thing you grasp is sex. No love. Just sex. You destroyed something very important to me. I pray life deals you the same thing over an over untill you can't bear it anymore.

As to your loner life, all you do is sleep with women..who some times who were dating other men, then act as if your in some life finding mood and ditch them.

Then when your feeling all alone you go back to the women who tried an move on an stick your head into their lives again..just for sex. Then It's back to your soul seeking.

You quote the bible in every post but then in the next sentence you rant about sex.. you of all people should be the last one to even try to quote the bible. You use it as a shield to cover who you are as with countless others. What you potray is fake. You use it as a crutch becuase inside you know what you are.

Just another young man easing thorugh life seeing how many women he can screw but at the same time acting like one of God's little helpers an preaching the word.

To further prove that you think with your lower half just look at the groups your a member of on here.. "oral sex". yea I'm sure thats real proper for a man whos suppsed to be living all moral.

Please, take you fakeness an place it where I'm not going to mention.
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[User Picture]From: phorbidden
2006-07-05 06:45 pm (UTC)

Re: speechless

Only one person would be this defensive to my thoughts. For your sake, I shall not reveal your name. Anyway, truly, I've only been intimate with 8(that's right, I can count it on both hands unlike others) women in my life. I actually find that a rather unlike acheivement in a world like this(you know what I mean) although I know I could have did better. And I don't treat them like shit unlike most. As far as sex, it's WAY overrated and I see why the Lord wanted us to wait until marriage. I won't even entertain the rest of your rambling. Although I will say this: "I know I am truly a saved, born again Christian. But, do you know? Your post says otherwise. Do you seriously try to uphold the Lord's way or are you just looking for your own selfish way to make your own pain go away? Are you truly saved even though you can't let go of your past? I advice you to converted your negative energy/memories/comments and direct them towards something positive. I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't still care about you. Get your life together or you will be trapped in your own "self-created" Hell with no way out.... I pray for your sucess.
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[User Picture]From: phorbidden
2006-07-05 06:46 pm (UTC)

Re: speechless

What am I saying? GET A LIFE!
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From: spiritnthesky
2006-07-11 03:34 am (UTC)

Re: speechless

I would've replied to the first comment, but the journal's author pretty much summed up what I wanted to say to the idiot. Even though he's a Christian, he's still a man--a human, flesh, air-breathing man--give him a break. I know the journal's author personally and he's not a fake. He's being sincere, speaking from his heart and letting his emotions out. That's what journal entries are for.

And learn to spell before you try to blast someone online--you jerk.
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[User Picture]From: wabbit_tracks
2006-07-05 08:08 pm (UTC)
Wow, Corey. If a certain someone who made that first comment would learn to spell and punctuate correctly, it'd probably make a little more sense. Oh yeah, not to mention the fact that this anonymous person (whom we both know by name) seems to be really mixed up. It seems that she's accusing you of wrongs SHE did...isn't that funny?

Well anyway, I'm sure she didn't mean it. It's probably just the crazy talking.
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-08-16 03:27 am (UTC)


"There is a difference between a warrior and a solider. Look them up in Webster's Dictionary sometime...."


Explain this to me please, and I wil be glad to show you in person why you are wrong. Yes, I'm still waiting.
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[User Picture]From: wabbit_tracks
2006-08-16 03:50 am (UTC)
Sarah, whatever private conversation you speak of is not going to happen--as long as I'm with the author of this entry, there will be no "in person" anything. Not with you, anyways. "Waiting" any more than you already have is pointless. PLEASE MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND STOP DWELLING ON YOUR PAST MISTAKES.

By the way, you're not fooling anyone with the 'anonymous'. Own up to your comments like a real woman should, please.
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-08-16 09:38 am (UTC)
Sorry, this is not Sarah. Whoever you are, keep you thoughts to yourself. I could care less about them. Corey, do you still run to your dad when your in trouble?

Sorry I don't find it worth my time to create an account on this, posting under Anonymous is less hassel and time.


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[User Picture]From: wabbit_tracks
2006-08-16 12:07 pm (UTC)
I don't think you have the right to tell me to "keep my thoughts to myself" until you do the same. Make sure you note that I do have to freedom to speak my mind on whatever topic I choose, be it abortion, the origin of the species, or your misspelt comments.

You should also note that I have the right to disagree with them, however politely.

Remember, if you're not sure, there's always dictionary.com. It's a great tool.
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